Excelling & Exhausted
- Dr. C
- May 16
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 2
The Whisper Behind Women’s Success
“Booked & Busy” has become our badge of honor—yet the data keeps sounding the alarm.
Gallup’s latest wellbeing survey finds that 51 % of working women in the U.S. felt ‘a lot of stress yesterday,’ a 12-point gap from men. Deloitte’s Women @ Work 2024 study likewise reports that more than half of women say their stress levels have risen over the past year, and roughly one in four already feel burned out.
We are excelling and exhausted—often at the same time—because many of us have built our leadership identities on a survival logic: “Be indispensable, and you’ll be safe.”
Survival Strategy or Leadership
So many high-achieving women unknowingly lead from identities rooted in survival. I know I did.
Take Ms. I-Got-You, who believes, “If I solve every problem, I belong”—a mindset that often leads to chronic over-functioning. You’re the dependable backbone who swoops in to mend crises, often at your own expense. On top of all things business, you’re likely an eldest or only daughter. I see you, sis.
Or The Strong Black Woman, driven by the belief, “If I stay strong, no one can hurt me,” who may suppress vulnerability to maintain a sense of safety. Your identity is built on unbreakable strength, emotional suppression, and the drive to “push through” no matter what. Don’t identify as Black? No problem, just insert your identifier. Trust, it’ll resonate.
Then there’s She-do-it-all, who lives by, “If I know everything and never drop a ball, I’ll be valued,” often resulting in perfectionism and isolation. You’re busy keeping every plate spinning, convinced you can’t ask for help or acknowledge not knowing everything without losing value or respect.
These identities were strategies for protection and success. Take a moment to thank them for stepping in when we needed them. Deep inhale. Slow exhale. Yeah.
These ways of being were brilliant then, but they quietly drain us now.
The Ontological Reframe: From Doing to Being
Traditional advice targets symptoms (time, tasks, sleep). Ontological coaching asks a deeper question.
“Who am I being that has me doing all of this?”
When we shift being, our actions naturally realign.
Gift: The Pause of Possibility (a 5-minute practice)
Notice the Body – Hand on chest or belly.
Name the Being – Rushed? Tense? Grounded?
Choose Being– One liberating word (curious, soft, sovereign).
Shape the Body – Let posture and breath match the new being.
Act from Choice – Send the email, have that conversation, or simply breathe.
From Survival to Sovereignty
At Rise Survive Thrive™, we guide transformation through a three-phase continuum that helps women shift from survival to sovereignty—not by doing more, but by being more of who they truly are.
Rise, Waking Up to Wholeness: This first phase invites you to remember that you are already whole, complete, and worthy—before you check a single box or prove a single thing.
Survive, Stabilizing & Restoring: Here, we focus on creating the internal safety needed to let go of outdated survival strategies. Your nervous system gets the care it’s long needed.
Thrive, Choosing & Creating: Finally, we step into intentional leadership and living. From this grounded sense of being, you begin to generate impact with greater ease, clarity, and joy. Key practices include:
Whether through 1-to-1 coaching, group coaching, or our upcoming Way of Being Women's Circle (Summer 2025), this continuum becomes your compass—one that leads you home to yourself.
What This Means for Leadership
Measure culture, not clock-time. Productivity driven by fear breeds burnout; productivity fueled by choice breeds innovation.
Reward wholeness. Normalize space for emotional truth, caregiving realities, and rest.
Organizations that prioritize being, not just doing, unlock creativity, retention, and sustainable performance.
Invitation
If your calendar is full but your spirit is fraying, I got you.
DM me to join the waitlist for The Way of Being Gathering—A free, small-group coaching experience for visionary women reclaiming space for themselves.
Step into an intimate circle where we trade urgency for intentional ease. In this 90-minute session you will:
Clarify your life’s intentions and name what truly matters to you.
Map a vision you can live with ease, not exhaustion.
Welcome more joy, less drama, by shifting your way of being.
Focus your energy on what counts, releasing everything that doesn’t serve.
This taste-of-transformation sets the stage for the full six-week Way of Being Women's Circle launching late in Summer 2025. Reserve your spot on the waitlist now and be the first to choose a session date.
💫 RiseSurviveThrive™ — Coaching for women ready to lead from wholeness, not hustle.
With breath and belief in you,
Dr. C
Ontological Coach | Founder, Rise Survive Thrive™
Feeling ready to explore your way of being 1-on-1? Let's set that up. Click HERE to schedule a free 45-minute strategy session.
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